At times, because my schedule could not always accommodate his changing hours and sparse availability, I wouldn’t see him for a couple of weeks or more.
During these times, I would read my past journal entries, searching for the relationship that so often seemed out of reach.
I became increasingly hopeless that our connection could survive long-term. He invited me out to dinner a month later to find some closure.
For the singles entering, this forces one of three choices: In practice, a large number of doctors marry other doctors, either because they met as premeds or because they began dating at some point of training (including residency, with associated sketchy stories of students dating residents or residents dating attendings.) Some, unfortunately, remain unhappily single, realizing too late that they had spent much of their youth delaying gratification.Overall, I take the dating habits of med students as a reminder that mating markets are not magically efficient, that even though you're a high-status professional it doesn't translate into romantic success unless you actually go out and make something of it.I found myself frequently journaling in the glow of my laptop as he slumbered next to me in bed. I am trying to conform myself to his needs, his life, and am suffering in the process.If I could wave a magic wand, I would just be about his schedule. The brutal hours plus the additional presentations, papers, and research requirements constantly sucked away the tiny hours of time we could find to spend together. I just feel like curling up in his arms and crying, but there is nobody there to curl up into. Your kisses seemed grateful, loving, with a hint of desperate, with a hint of, “I just woke up again and realized you are next to me in my arms still …Most of your time is spent either studying or hanging out with others in the med student bubble.
Your schedule leaves little time to initiate a relationship, and maintaining relationships can be challenging unless your SO understands the demands of medical school.
Love is an archetype I have embodied for many years, but now it feels bigger than me, more powerful than my total awareness, and enveloping me like an ocean holds a jellyfish.
All I can do is float, drink in the vastness, and wonder where the tide will take us.
In medicine more so than in less demanding professions, it takes a conscious effort to optimize your mating efforts; we don't have the luxury of "just letting things happen."Also, I take away the lesson that it's entirely possible to delay gratification forever, as many medical students spent their entire youths in "study now party later" mode, realizing at the end of fellowship that they're now in a rather unsatisfactory dating situation.
As a medical student, you may face particular relationship challenges if your significant other doesn’t have firsthand experience with juggling the unique demands of medical school.
As we grew in awareness and caring for each other, his physician schedule and activities pulled on us both like quicksand.